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Big Brother Has Been Watching And He Is Not Happy.
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 You may have heard statistics like "The average resident of London, England is captured on camera 300 times a day." and the Office of Homeland Security is watching --uh, watching out for us now. But the fact that George Orwell's vision of the future is upon us did not come through until I read the following "humorous" e-mail. |
| Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?" Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order." Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?" Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610." Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?" Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?" Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir." Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas." Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir." Customer: "Whaddya mean?" Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice." Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?" Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it." Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?" Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion." Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then." Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99." Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number." Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit." Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here." Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn." Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?" Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward." Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?" Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up. Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!&?#!" Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop." Customer: (Speechless) Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?" Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke". Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics" |
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Aaron - #1 Thu, Jan 29th 2004 @ 6:12 AM 22 words |
| Welcome to 1984. I have another one about the Copyright Police, I will dig it up and post it in the comments. |
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Aaron - #2 Thu, Jan 29th 2004 @ 10:59 AM 24 words |
| "Here's another similarly themed story, still can't find the one I'm looking for though... Right to Read |
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Troy - #3 Thu, Jan 29th 2004 @ 12:57 PM 8 words |
| Aaron has finally surpassed Rob in posting text. |
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Steven - #4 Thu, Jan 29th 2004 @ 6:17 PM 1 words |
| LOL! |
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EDITOR - #5 Thu, Jan 29th 2004 @ 8:00 PM 4 words |
| Aaron is banned again. |
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Steve - #6 Mon, Feb 2nd 2004 @ 10:34 AM 8 words |
| The Editor looks suspiciously like Agent Smith, cool. |
Jim #378
Thu, Jan 29th 2004